Speaky Squeaky PANIC! 😳

  • Legal disclaimer:
    1. In this blog post I refer to the famous actor Hugh Grant. I by no means think I look like Mr Grant, I only refer to the stereotypical Englishman he is.
    2. The spelling of any foreign language within this article are for reference only and in no way will cause diabetes.
  • For a long while I’ve noticed that when I try to speak foreign languages I lose all my sense of character and being! I have it all worked out beforehand, well rehearsed and listened to Google Translate for the millionth time again — just–in–case it’s changed in the last few minutes — and then BOOM!; I speak as if I’m a scared child, just squeaks or worse, the words fading in volume the nearer I get to the end!


    I’m glad I can laugh at myself at least. All I’m doing is trying something new, which I’m usually ok with, but for some reason whenever I go to speak something as simple as ‘Se wa dee’ (hello in Thai), my mind spins into a hurricane and I either completely forget my well practised new line or I blurt it out after my throat decides to close down for Christmas and I become lost in a flurry of confused embarrassment reverting to English.

    So I’ve been pondering why this happens and I now know why; it’s because I’m not confident with the language! So my mind’s most logical answer is to revert back to childhood. When I then speak, the squeaky/fading sound obviously does not match the shell from where it is emitted. The locals — currently Thai’s — must then wonder what–the–hell happened to Hugh Grant!

    And then there IS the childish part of me! The one that finds saying ‘thank you’ or ‘hello’ in Thai extremely embarrassing or giggly due to the English meaning of the male way of saying such. A quick Thai lesson for you:

    Thank you = Kop Koon X

    Hello = Se wa dee X

    X is replaced by: Krap (if a male says it) / Kaa (if a female says it).

    So if I say ‘hello’ in Thai I say ‘Kop Koon Krap’.

    I’m assuming you’ve spotted my immature slur of which I can fully understand you’re unsubscribing and I’m sorry to see you go!

    The funny thing is, and so far this has happened 4 times this year, once I get to grips with the basics of one language — my first was Portuguese back in April 2019 — I’ll have to start again… The joys. 😉😃


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